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I work with individuals, couples and families. My specialty
is working with unhappy adults and struggling couples. And I work
comfortably and well with those dealing with addictive issues.
Work with Individuals:
I believe there are identifiable reasons for psychological and emotional
symptoms of depression, anxiety, irritability, hopelessness, helplessness,
marital discord, financial issues--unhappiness. I work with the
things in your life that don't work - and strongly believe that
you can grow, heal and change these things.
The goal of psychotherapy and life is to become happier--more content
and secure--intra personally more effective and more graceful. In
essence, psychotherapy helps us to grow along personal, relational,
intellectual and spiritual lines.
I work with individuals using a multi-modal approach including TA,
Gestalt, psychomotor, experiential
and cognitive behavioral methods. I also work with adolescents and
families.
Both my wife
Kay and I have been doing this for a while and have come up
with a very effective integration of approaches that make us some
of the better therapists in the city. Not all therapists are
created equal. Keys to being masterful therapists are time,
theoretical framework and the person of the therapist. We are good
on those things.
Work with Couples:
I love working with couples. I believe if both partners meet the
minimum but important non-negotiables then most any difficulty can
be overcome and the couple can get better. Much better. I have seen
this over and over again.
Actually, one of the non-negotiables is that both parties are willing
to come to therapy and look at their issues. The reason couples
struggle is both because of a lack of skills also because of a plethora
of personal issues that get in the way. When each member are willing
to look at , take responsibility for and work on their personal
issues then couples get better. Really!
It is because of personal issues, mainly of the family of origin
variety, that being in relationship is difficult. Most are not programmed
or trained, as it were, to know how to do relationships well. In
fact most are trained in crashing and burning or avoiding especially
when things get dicey. That's why leaving is too easy for most.
It is also one of the reasons I like to keep the therapy in house
because I can direct these difficulties and blamitis back to the
individual's issues.
I use a blend of effective therapies that offer a
clear framework of what the problems are and how to correct them.
It is most always is pretty simple to figure out--pretty strait
forward. It then just takes time, willingness and some humility
and courage. But it does work if you work it. Over my many years
I have had great results and seen wonderful improvements.
This is easier said than done, but achievable. Couples therapy teaches
the skills necessary to heal old resentments and learn to be more
responsive, respectful and responsible - to yourself and your life
mate and other family members.
Think about how much time and energy you put into
something that's important to you. Whether this be your career or
a hobby, you are usually dedicated and willing to overcome difficulties
in order to succeed. If you put one quarter of the effort into learning
about yourself and becoming a better partner that you do in your
other important pursuits, you will realize great benefits. And what's
more important!?
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to top Work with Addictions:
I am grateful to have been in recovery for a fair while. Being part of the
fellowship has brought him many gifts. One of the best presents the program has
given to him is a reawakened spiritual connection which has grown exponentially
over the years. From a psychological/emotional perspective, wanting to
use, either through alcohol, drugs, food, sex, work, etc., is either wanting to
medicate a feeling or trying to meet a need (usually for nurturance). Roadmap
therapy and Self Parenting, both in the mapping aspect of who's in the drivers
seat of your personality and in terms of the operating principles works great
with those in the program--especially those with a little time under their belt.
This is because the goal of recovery (and therapy) is to have a good grownup be
the primary driver in our lives so that we don't act on unhealthy impulses. Also,
being truly sober, by definition, means having the graceful grownup in place so
that we can minimally have the wisdom to know the difference. You can usually
tell folks with double digits because this graceful grownup is stronger and more
evident. Roadmap therapy is accelerated finishing school for this part. This is
so important because most of us didn't get lots of modeling or coaching in how
to be truly grownup in all our affairs. Two of the major focus'
of Roadmap therapy is processing/metabolizing unexpressed emotions and learning
about and meeting old unmet and current needs. Hence, it is really good in working
with the psychological and emotional issues underlying an addiction. The
bottom line is Roadmap therapy is a really good fit for folks in recovery and
they are a good and enjoyable part of my practice. See
the Inner Symphony for an idea of how this might
be relevant.
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